You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
