i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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