I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Sorry about my life...
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Randomize
