no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
