the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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