it wasn't lemon gatorade
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
