you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
