hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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