Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
