I'm pants shitting drunk right now
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
