I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
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