he fucked my hip out of place.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
try to milk me bitch
why is half of my head shaved?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
