So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
My liver just had a heart attack.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
