hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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