Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
