fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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