I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
