do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
