i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
