Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
