I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
My penis needs a shock collar
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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