No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
