haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Randomize
