the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
