Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
