Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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