hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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