sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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