I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Drake has all the answers
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