so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
