Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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