Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
