You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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