im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
