Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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