you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
