Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
