So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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