Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
