I wanna bring you to show and tell
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
