You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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