I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
