i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
