Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
