her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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