she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
