is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Randomize
