I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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