i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
