The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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