I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
