The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
When are your genitals available?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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