my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
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