it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
