drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
then he tried to convert me to islam
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Randomize
