no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize