I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
